A Dumb Plan
by Cream Pudding
Summary: It all started off with a dumb plan, at least that's what Riku called it. But Axel knew what true genius it actually was. Axel/Riku. Party.


Let me set the scene for you - Last night was a Saturday night, like any other. The house party our two protagonists were attending, was going _off!_ Music pumped, bodies ground together, not all by choice though. The house was full. It was tighter than a can of sardines; although way less orderly, but definitely as stinky, because of everyone sweating out the equivalent of a small kiddy-pool.

It wasn't really Riku's scene, as he thought himself way too _mature_ for these kinds of things usually. And by _mature_ we mean _stuck up_. But he had changed his mind when he had been asked if he would be attending, by someone he had the hots for.

Yet Riku was so insecure and inexperienced when it came to party-ing, that he had to ask his best friend, the amazing Axel, to join him, to serve as protector and guide through this social foray.

(But the thing Axel couldn't admit was that he actually attended the party for selfish reasons - for he was totally into this new guy in his photography course.)

It didn't matter the reasons for Axel's presence. All that mattered was that he was there. Our protagonists had squeezed their way through the throng to the very heart of the party - the watering hole. It was the place for social lubrication - and boy - did Riku need some lubricating.

* * *

" _You're way too stiff. Here, drink this and relax."_

" _I don't want the punch."_

" _Look at you! You're gonna need it if you ever hope to woo - what's his name? Pain-in-the-arse? Hypo-boy?"_

" _His name's Sora."_

" _I hear he's got ADHD. Can't keep his mouth shut, or stay focused."_

" _Not so different from you then, huh."_

" _My behavior is by choice. Wadda ya see in him anyway? And drink your damn punch. We need at least three of these in you to get you to loosen up."_

" _Urgh. This tastes awful."_

" _That's how you know it's gonna work. -Here, have another one."_

" _I think I'm gonna be sick - But Sora… well he's nice. What you call ADHD I call friendly. Have you ever had a conversation with him?"_

" _No. Cheerful guys aren't my thing. Gimmie outwardly brooding but inwardly fun any day."_

" _Is that what you think Roxas is?"_

" _I know he is. He's always got this scowl in class, but when I get him alone in the darkroom he cracks the sickest jokes."_

" _Why haven't you asked him out yet?"_

" _I'm working up to it, okay? Here, drink up, and let me just - finish off my own."_

" _You've had like five."_

" _You know me. Not a light-weight like you."_

" _Whatever. I don't want to have a hangover for nothing. Is Sora even here? I think we've been all over the house. Haven't run into him yet."_

" _Even if you did run into him, what's your plan for getting with him? You're about as awkward as someone with lactose intolerance at an ice cream parlor."_

" _What you call awkward I call treading lightly and getting to know someone first."_

" _Is that why you haven't gotten laid in two years?"_

" _Quit poking me. Life's not about getting laid. It's about finding someone to have a meaningful relationship with."_

" _So you're gonna be forever alone?"_

" _Shut up. I'm not gonna be anything if we can't even find Sora."_

* * *

They both drank, while the ever vigilant and patient Axel scanned the horizons. And because of his immense tallness, handsomeness, and ever eagle-eyedness, Axel made relatively short work of finding Riku's intended target, in the ocean of people.

* * *

" _There he is -"_

" _Where?"_

" _Between the chocolate fountain and beer pong table."_

" _Ah."_

" _So whatcha gonna do?"_

" _Uh - well I'm just gonna walk over there and uh - ask him to see a movie with me? And then maybe we'll go to the Bayside amusement park, where I'll win him a bunch of prizes and he'll be super impressed by me. We'll do that a couple of times over several weeks. And then I'll ask him to a fancy restaurant. We'll have a nice meal and then take a stroll, and we'll confess our feelings and the night will end in a kiss."_

" _Ahahaha! You've got this all figured out, huh?"_

" _Pretty much?"_

" _Well what if he says 'no'?"_

" _Then it won't happen."_

" _And you're happy with that kind of a result?"_

" _Well 'course I wouldn't be, but it's not like I'm going to force the issue."_

" _Well go on then. Go over there and ask."_

" _-Quit shoving me."_

" _I'm encouraging you."_

" _..."_

" _Why're you still here? Go!"_

" _Maybe - gimmie another drink first."_

" _Ahahaha!"_

* * *

Riku was a giant chicken. It was irrefutable. But lucky for him he had his fantastical friend Axel around, who kept giving out warm encouragement until Riku felt brave enough to do the unthinkable.

(Warm encouragement actually meant plying his poor friend with more punch, and pushing him through the crowd until he was almost nose to nose with Sora.)

* * *

" _Ah hi!"_

" _Hey! - Ah - Riku, isn't it?"_

" _Yeah. Hi Sora."_

" _Awesome party, isn't it? Have you been out by the pool yet? I think I heard rumors of a foam machine getting set up soon out there."_

" _Ah - yeah. No I haven't heard anything - bit hard with this music being so loud. Hehe."_

" _What?"_

" _Ah - nothing."_

" _..."_

" _..."_

" _So ah, Sora?"_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Would you want to maybe - some time - doesn't have to be soon but -"_

" _Oh hey! This is totally my song - c'mon, let's dance!"_

* * *

The plan had worked. Riku was whisked away by the little snot, leaving Axel to swish around and finish his drink, while he pulled some sick moves on the dance-floor by himself, before he was called over to the beer pong table by the adoring public.

After some amazing trick shots, which had won his team the game, the man - nay - God amongst men - casually and coolly walked off to the sound of the crowd raucously cheering his name in triumph and admiration.

But he didn't let this praise go to his head. Nor did he let himself be wooed into another round, because he was an astounding, true-blue friend. So he looked for Riku in the crowd, to see how he was faring.

A tap on the shoulder however distracted him.

* * *

" _Hey Axel."_

" _Ah - Hey Roxas. I was looking for you."_

" _Well you found me. Nice work at the beer pong."_

" _It's one of my many talents."_

" _Are some of your other talents making out?"_

" _Ehehe, yes they are. How'd you know?"_

" _I heard rumors."_

" _Wanna find out how true they are?"_

" _Wouldn't be here if I didn't."_

* * *

After being prepositioned to, Axel had no choice but to grant the request of a make-out session with a little pipsqueak. And he would have been lying if he had said it hadn't been good. But the session was cut short, because Axel, being ever attentive, had noticed that his dear friend was in trouble.

(What Axel clearly failed to mention was that Riku tapped him on the shoulder to announce that he was leaving and would see him in the morning, if he was still up for their sparring match.)

* * *

" _What's the matter, Riku? Slow down, man."_

" _Nothing's the matter."_

" _Then why're you rushing outta here an' why're your eyes beginning to leak?"_

" _Allergies."_

" _Dude, what happened? Last I saw Sora was grinding up on you like nobodies business."_

" _..."_

" _C'mon man, tell me what's wrong."_

" _No. Go back to making out."_

" _It's too late now - Roxas' gone off to drown himself in the chocolate fountain."_

" _Find someone else to make out with then. I'm going home."_

" _I'm not letting you drive home like that, you can barely walk in a straight line."_

" _Don't - gimmie that back!"_

" _No. I'll drive you home in a few hours when I've sobered up some."_

" _I'll walk home then."_

" _Not alone you ain't. C'mon, we're gonna chill under the buffet table, and you're gonna tell me what happened."_

* * *

Axel's sixth sense told him that his friend was deeply upset. It wasn't easy, but Axel managed to drag Riku to the buffet table and pushed him under the tablecloth so they had some privacy.

(It was private - if you didn't count the three people who were already under there - passed out.)

* * *

" _What happened?"_

" _We made out."_

" _Wohoo! Score! Touchdown! Why're you being such a wet blanket about it?"_

" _Nothing. I've just had enough. I'm gonna walk home - quit it. Let go."_

" _No. We're gonna hang out down here for a while, so you might as well tell me."_

" _..."_

" _..."_

" _He said I'm shit at making out."_

" _He what?"_

" _You heard me."_

" _..."_

" _..."_

" _Are you really?"_

" _..."_

" _I'd never have figured - I thought you just weren't getting laid because of your lame principals."_

" _Shut up - let go. I'm serious."_

" _And I'm serious too. I'm not letting you leave here, man."_

" _..."_

" _Maybe he's wrong. Maybe he's the crap chute of a maker-outer."_

" _Don't think so. Was pretty good for me."_

" _Ah - but you wouldn't know what was good and bad, now. I can count your relationships on one finger."_

" _Quit laughing at me."_

" _Sorry. I just think this is such a dumb thing to get upset about."_

" _It's not."_

* * *

They talked, man-to-man. Riku admitted to his deepest fears of being inadequate. And that was the moment Axel had a brilliant, life changing idea.

* * *

" _It is. And you know why?"_

" _Why?"_

" _Because this isn't anything like a terminal illness. You can get better at it."_

" _Better at it?"_

" _Yeah. I'll teach you."_

" _What?"_

" _Make out with me. Everyone on campus knows I'm good at it."_

" _Stop messing around."_

" _I mean it. I'll tell you if you're terrible - and I'll tell you how to improve. And then we'll go make out in front of the little shit and make him jealous."_

" _..."_

" _..."_

" _That's so dumb."_

" _C'mon, trust me."_

" _..."_

" _..."_

" _Urgh. Fine. Whatever."_

* * *

The plan was to make out together, because Axel was the greatest teacher Riku had and would ever have, and then nothing would ever stand in Riku's way of getting with people ever again.

Both protagonists scooched closer together, hands fumbled -

(It was insanely uncomfortable making out with your best friend.)

But they managed it and fell into a rhythm, which increased incrementally. Hands found their perch in each others clothes, anchored on belts, and wound around shoulders. What had been nothing but dried kindling at first, began to smoulder as friction intensified. Sparks ignited as lips and tongues grew hungry for one another. Hearts thumped, pupils dilated, and blood raced, pooled and engorged.

The space under the table grew humid from their heat and sweat. They pulled apart. The music from the party was drowned out by the sound of their rapid breathing.

* * *

" _Riku."_

" _\- So - How bad is it?"_

" _Riku - I'm gonna be super honest with you."_

" _..."_

" _I'm gonna call a cab now and we're leaving this party."_

" _I thought you were gonna help me and we were gonna make Sora jealous."_

" _Change of plans. We're going back to my place to make out some more and probably have sex."_

" _Huh?"_

" _Sora's crazy. You're perfect."_

* * *

For the first time Axel looked at his long-time friend in a completely different light. He had to admit to himself how completely dumb he had been all these years, to never realize how incredibly sexy his best friend was, until that lame moment under the buffet table.

(Riku didn't fare much better. It suddenly dawned on him that the relationship he wanted had always been at his side.)

So they called that cab and made out until it arrived to pick them up. And if Sora had seen them together he would most definitely have gotten jealous, and wished he could have had a piece of that hot mess of a pie.

But as it stood he would never be able to have a piece of that pie ever again. His chance was gone, because the two protagonists hopped into that cab and drove home. Whereupon arriving clothes were stripped. Kisses, licks, and sucks were left everywhere - and this was even before they had made it to the bed.

Axel made Riku beg and plead and come.

(And then Riku got revenge on Axel by doing the same things back to him.)

And on and on it went until the morning sun rose on our two exhausted, but well satisfied protagonists. - And that is the story of how the two best friends turned lovers. Thanks to the brilliance of Axel's quick thinking," Axel grinned down at the man under him.

"It was such a dumb plan. I must have been super drunk to agree to it," Riku shook his head.

"You were. But you were way less drunk by the time we got back here," he winked.

Riku smiled up. "I guess I'll let your dumbness slide just this once."

"We've been friends long enough for me to know you'll let way more slide than that. Axel is just so damn charming and irresistible," he boasted.

"I love how humble you are. All through that story, and especially now. Thanks for never letting me forget it," Riku drawled sarcastically, before breaking into a chuckled.

"You're welcome." Axel leaned down a fraction, leaving kisses on soft cheeks.

Riku turned his head, capturing lips and suckling languidly. Hands began wandering over warm flesh, leaving goose-prickles in the wake of traversing fingertips.

After some time stomachs rumbled and Riku pulled back, "I assume you have no food in your fridge -"

"That's exactly why we are going to make the best couple. You know me inside and out," Axel chuckled and nipped, pulling the skin on Riku's neck, gently.

"Let's go to a cafe for breakfast."

"As in a date?"

"If you don't think it's lame."

Axel propped himself up on an elbow. "I do, but I'm willing to give it a go."

Riku smiled brightly.

"On one condition though."

The smile fell cautiously. "What condition?"

"We go to the Bayside amusement park and you win me the biggest, dumbest toy we can find. I promise I'll pretend to be impressed."

Riku chuckled. "Fine."

"Awesome. It's a date then."

That commenced another round of kissing and touching. The light, frivolous make out session grew more purposeful.

By the time they left Axel's place, it was well past lunchtime.

* * *

 **Author notes** -

Hope anyone reading this enjoyed it. I tried to do something a little bit different. So if it was confusing I hope the following will clear things up -

It's Axel narrating the whole thing, with Riku butting in via parentheses.  
Their conversation bits are flashbacks, bar the conversation at the end.

This was a gift to to RenoRenjiRed, over at Ao3, for their support and encouragement on my earlier works.


End file.
